ninn09262 asked:
How can I ask nicely for my parents and my husband’s parents to stop buying so many toys for my two girls? Last year at Chrismas, I could only get my daughter a Leap-pad and some cartridges because I knew our families were getting her so much stuff. My oldest has so many toys she doesn’t value any of them, and she often gets doubles from many members of the family.
How can I ask nicely for my parents and my husband’s parents to stop buying so many toys for my two girls? Last year at Chrismas, I could only get my daughter a Leap-pad and some cartridges because I knew our families were getting her so much stuff. My oldest has so many toys she doesn’t value any of them, and she often gets doubles from many members of the family.
We recently moved over seas, and I had to donate so much to the Thrift Store and give them to friends. I’m really thankful that we don’t live so close right now because of this. But we’ll only be here for one more year. How do I nicely let them know that a trunkload of toys at every Christmas and Birthday is just too much?
Honey, it bothers me because:
1. They won’t value their possessions
2. We don’t have room for it all
3. Nothing is special or earned
4. Presents are not the best way to show love
Thank you all for your serious answers. Maybe I will set a 2 toy limit and take my kids with me to the goodwill with everything else.
Hank
August 16th, 2006 - 4:32 am
When you find the answer to this one, PLEASE let my family know. They go SOOOOOO overboard with it EVERY holiday. We have a small house and 4 kids. I tried to have them get the kids savings bonds, but that only lasted one or two years. Plus they bought them all a bunch of toys and clothes and said, they can’t play with savings bonds. I said, they cannot pay for college with toys. Wish I had a better answer for you. Good luck though.
August 16th, 2006 - 11:08 am
why does it bother you so much?? I mean it sounds like they really care about your youngins’!! Just be glad that you dont have to buy them!!
August 17th, 2006 - 11:28 pm
I would tell them that it’s a nice thing they are doing but maybe cut it down to 2 toys and some clothes. Also mention that there are other kids out there who don’t get any at holidays. Maybe talk them into donating for a good cause to the kids that do really need it. Your children are lucky but when there are so many toys and they don’t cherish them it’s time to give them away. I rotate my son’s toys about every 6 months and give the toys he doesn’t play with to good will.
August 19th, 2006 - 2:08 pm
i asked my exinlaws who are crazy about buying toys to pay for activities for the kids Sarah is reall interested in yoga for her birthday would you like to pay for some classes etc
i also told them it was important for my children to appriecate the reason for the holiday and didnt want them focusing on gifts and asked them to limit the # of gifts at christmas each child gets 7 gifts
also you can have them buy savings bonds
if my kids do get too many toys i explain to them that they are so luck to have grandparents that can afford to buy gifts and ask if we could donate any of the new toys to kids who arent so lucky–last christmas my 2 girls each recieved big lego type doll houses we donated one to the women shelter and they kept the 2nd to play with
August 21st, 2006 - 9:28 pm
maybe ask for seeds or plants. the kids can learn resposibility while being rewarded with a veggie or flower all their very own =)
August 25th, 2006 - 2:16 am
In our case it wasn’t so much a problem with the kids as it was a problem with my parents. LOL
We have established a $25 per child per birthday and Christmas limit and no gift exchange among adults. My husband and I are the enforcers of the rule and we established it after my parents began constantly complaining that they were spending too much on the kids and on family gifts.
At first we held back trying to let my parents take their own responsibility for the spending. When that didn’t work and my parents kept complaining, we moved to telling the kids that they were responsible to pick toys that were not over a certain amount. It really was too much to ask of children. Now we play the bad guy role and enforce the limit.
I have to admit to being a little frustrated that my parents complained and still do not take the responsibility themselves. It is their money and they should be the ones not spend more than they can be happy with longterm. The kids have made the adjustment to our rule and Mom and Dad seem relieved. My husband and I can live with being the bad guy and have determined that we will take the responsibility ourselves when the time comes to be grandparents. If we spend more than we are happy with long term, it is our own fault not theirs.
August 26th, 2006 - 1:03 pm
Just tell them to stop buying all the toys. When birthday’s or christmas rolls around tell them they need clothes. Make sure you tell them the sizes and what they need. If they want to add a couple of SMALL toys, then ok. Do not be nice about it, just tell them. If they get the toys then take them back and get what you want for them.
August 29th, 2006 - 2:55 am
Encourage them get a couple of gifts and set a limit. If you still have too many toys, you can always put some in storage and rotate them so the old becomes new. You can make some extra money by having a garage sale every so often. My mom just buys my son clothes, which he always needs.
August 31st, 2006 - 8:29 pm
I have the same problem with my dad and my in-laws. I would tell them just what you said in this question. That you kids dont value the gifts that they are given. Tell them that if they want to really show them how much they love them give them money for Collage. Set your kids up a savings account with the money they get.
Also I know that this isnt a part of your question, but if your kids are old enough, maybe its time for them to start earning money for toys, by doing chores around the house. Just an idea. Hope this helps alittle.
September 1st, 2006 - 3:51 am
i had the first grandchild for both sides of the family and wentt through he same thung. i had to explain to them that i understood that they did it out of love, BUT that she like your girls, didnt appreciate them. i asked tem to buy them things they NEEDED instead or to buy them more learning/creative toys instead. now i almost never have to buy clothes or art supplies. tell them that its gotten so bad that you have to donate and they may realize they are waisting their money.
my alternative for them, besides material things was for them to deposit money into my girls savings accounts.
September 2nd, 2006 - 9:03 pm
Enjoy it. Have you heard of a eBay? Make some money off of the extra things.