Jennifer asked:
I have a 3 and 4 year old and some nights, it’s a pain to get them to pick up their toys. I am tired of picking them up myself. I would like to be able to do my dishes or something while they are picking up the toys. I’ve helped them pick them up, pointed toys out, I’ve even threatened to get rid of some of the toys, all to no avail. Any ideas???
When I tell them to pick them up, I do mean it. I can have a pretty decent bite to my voice when I want to, but obviously, yelling at them itsn’t going to do anything.
I have a 3 and 4 year old and some nights, it’s a pain to get them to pick up their toys. I am tired of picking them up myself. I would like to be able to do my dishes or something while they are picking up the toys. I’ve helped them pick them up, pointed toys out, I’ve even threatened to get rid of some of the toys, all to no avail. Any ideas???
When I tell them to pick them up, I do mean it. I can have a pretty decent bite to my voice when I want to, but obviously, yelling at them itsn’t going to do anything.
We pick up toys every night before our bedtime routine, so taking away a snack isn’t going to help either. I have taken away a bedtime story before, but all that does is makes bedtime a scream fest, when it usually isn’t.
Also, when I have taken toys away in the past, my oldest will just say ok and throw them in the trash can. So, some of the toys have really been thrown away.
It drives me crazy, because they really are good girls other than this.
Kerry
October 3rd, 2006 - 7:07 pm
ell them to pick up there toys and mean it
October 6th, 2006 - 11:50 pm
no snack till they are picked up….or extra treat if they pick it up. My 3 year old loves to clean up….
October 8th, 2006 - 4:36 pm
If you make a threat like that you have to follow through otherwise they don’t think that you are for real. So take the toys away-put them in a box for a week or 2. Otherwise this will lead to other things that they will walk all over you about.
October 11th, 2006 - 12:27 am
Dont tell them you are going to get rid of the toys actually hide some put some up and tell them that if they cant help pick up the toys then they cant play with them anymore. Tell them that you also have things that you have to do and that if they helped that you three would have more time to spend together and do something fun besides fight over toys. I done this with my child and it worked great.
October 11th, 2006 - 8:05 pm
Make it a game. Turn on some fun music and have them see who can pick the toys up the fastest (maybe the kid who wins can pick a movie to watch or whatever a small reward will work).
October 13th, 2006 - 7:27 pm
Act on your threat. When I was about 5 or so, my dad told me to pick up my toys or he would throw them all out - whatever wasn’t put away. I was being lazy and I didn’t really think he’d throw away what he had bought because it was wasting money, so I just left them. That afternoon, my dad went to see if the toys were picked up and they weren’t. He went into the kitchen, got out a trashbag and went and started putting the toys in the trashbag and he put them in the trashcan outside. I got upset but I learned my lesson and picked up my toys from then on - I learned that my parents meant what they said then and didn’t push the limits as much on things I was told to do.
October 15th, 2006 - 3:30 am
Consequences and consistency! Don’t threaten. Do.
It will take awhile to correct these learned behaviors. Give them clear guidelines. If you pick up 10 toys, I will read you a story. Or some other positive reinforcement that they want. Increase it every night. It should then become routine; they clean up their room then they get what they want and everyone sleeps well.
Don’t give up. Don’t give in. You are the parent. They are your rules - make them fair and consistent.
October 17th, 2006 - 12:36 am
really make them dissappear, it sounds like a long time will be necessary for your oldest - but make a threat to take them away, and if the threat doesn’t work, you HAVE to follow through!
October 18th, 2006 - 1:43 am
If they don’t mind you throwing the toys away then they don’t need toys.. Honestly my 8yr was the same way so we stopped by him toys and got rid of ALL his toys and he is more happy now.
My 3yr is the same way
October 20th, 2006 - 7:04 am
maybe try changing the routine…clean up before supper…it’s hard, because kids this age (i have a 5 and 2 1/2 year old) seem older than they are, but this is a hard task for them to complete on their own…i’ve tried setting a timer, and we all pick up until the buzzer goes off…making it a game of beat the clock seems exciting to them and it seems to work most times
putting the toys that aren’t picked up in “time out” is something that worked for my girlfriend…then after a certain period of time, the toys would be put back in circulation (usually 3 days to a week)
October 21st, 2006 - 3:21 pm
My son has this problem, and I’ve tried plenty of ideas, but the one that seems to work best is by trying to make it a fun game of some kind. Usually I just get my kids ready, and when I say, Go! they’ll run off filling their arms with their toys and dumping them into their toy boxes. It’s always a tie, and they both get rewarded either with a hug and a kiss or 15 minutes of extra story time.
Hope this helped!
October 23rd, 2006 - 3:46 am
My kids are under 2 so I make a game out of it. I praise them continuously while we pick them up together. Now I can ask them to bring me something and they actually do it. I’m hoping that soon I’ll be able to ask them to pick up toys and not have to do it with them, but doing it together is a start.
October 23rd, 2006 - 1:25 pm
The clean up song works I use it with my 15 month and she like it it goes clean up clean up everybody do your share clean up clean up pick up toys and put it there you have to assist them at first till they get the hang of it but you should have them clean up before dinner and then after they can spend time with you and your husband then bedtime but make it fun to clean and they have videos and cds with cleaning themes that may work
October 26th, 2006 - 9:29 am
well keep level headed and dont expect them to pcik them all up, but set a timer in there room for like 5 minutes and tell them to pcik up as much as they can untill it goes off. when they get older adjust the time to 10 minutes to 15. telll them that if they dont do it, they will be punished, if they do pick up there toys, they can have a special treat! when i was a kid, we were just expected to listen or we would be paddled. we just listen and did as we were told and if we didnt we got a whooping, not abuse (for all those weirdos out there that think ******** is child abuse!!) there were rules and we followed them or else! if ur not that strong willed with ur kids its ok, jsut try what i said up at the top! plus 3 and 4 are way to young to hit!! i would jsut try everything else under the sun! lol
October 28th, 2006 - 5:12 pm
make it a game. see who can clean up the quickest, and who ever does gets a bonus like a sticker. give them the choice of two toys a day to play with, if they are able to put them away after they are done they get to choose a third toy to put in their toy box to play with the next day, and so on and so forth…….this should help them make choices and hopefully give them a little responsibility….
good luck
October 31st, 2006 - 1:09 pm
when my kids were that age, i had a little tykes shopping cart and we would pick up their toys together and put them in the cart. they would push the cart to the different rooms and put the items where they belonged. i also have a basket for this reason. if you allow them to play with toys in the living room, have a basket or something for them to keep their toys in there. sometimes kids have too many toys. put only a few out at a time, keep the rest in the closet, rotating the toys out every few weeks. all my kids wanted to do was dump everything out of the toy chest and leave them on the floor.
October 31st, 2006 - 9:04 pm
Drop them into the bin while they are watching you. OR. Only let them play with one thing at a time and teach them to pack it away before getting another.
November 1st, 2006 - 6:01 am
At their ages is a battle and I noticed it is pretty common.
Have you tried making it a game? Such as, see who can find the most toys with red (working on colors and numbers) or sizes of toys. See who can put the most toys in the box first. Do singing that reflects picking up and treating their toys good so they can last them a life long adventure. (Did this one at the pre school alot).
Limit the amount of toys they have access to. They can each pick a toy out. They can play with it for however long and when they are ready for a new toy, they have to put that one up first before they can get a new toy. They might fuss, but at least you will only have one/two toy/s for them to pick up rather than multi.
If they throw them away. Then say “Im sorry you feel that way about your toy. I am sure someone else will appreciate it” or something down the lines. Sometimes they might go “no no no” or other times they shrug it off. One of the parents donated a big box and that was the EXACT reason what her child did. He was trying to take the toys back home and she said he threw them away. Explained to him that next time he should think twice about how he treats his toys. He has become a lot better on his toys since then. He is 6.
As I got older myself, my mom would say “If on the floor and not in appropriate area, it will be donated”. She did mean it to and there be times I had to donate the box myself to teach me a lesson of giving to those who will appreciate it. Which I love donating but kinda ****** to as a consequence as well.